heartbreak, honesty, + happiness
Long time no see, my friends. Unless, of course, you follow along on Instagram and have been keeping up with me in some way. "Normal" bloggers would probably say "I'm sorry I haven't been blogging...", but I will never apologize for doing what I need or want to do❤️.
One of the reasons I really haven't been able to write anything is that I am heartbroken. If you know me in real life or have been reading or following along for a while, you probably know why. The island that holds my happiest memories, all of my dreams for the future, and my whole entire heart, has been absolutely rocked and forever changed by Hurricanes Irma and Maria. I am just devastated. It creates a lot of "unknown", which is really hard for me, and my heart aches for all of the amazing people whose lives have been flip turned upside down. Mike and I will continue to visit each year, be a part of the rebuilding, and part of what makes St. John so special... the people and the spirit.
I have been feeling a serious need for a little more privacy these days. I love helping people, inspiring others in one way or another, and sharing parts of my life, but, there is a line. Unfortunately, that line becomes very blurry when you are so transparent and other people forget that there is a real, live human with a heart and soul behind the Instagram account or blog. So, I just have to create big, bold lines for myself. Maybe that means not blogging about everything, every day. Maybe that means not going out of my way to answer every question on every post. So while I navigate through this weirdness, it's just been easier for me to stay quiet on here, especially since I have been feeling so much heartbreak- and heartbreak combined with negative feelings from strangers = bad news. And I just don't need or want any more of that in my life when it can easily be avoided.
I have had a really, really hard transition into the school year this year. My heart just isn't the same as it once was and "school" is now "work" and it is draining. I went to college and grad school and grad school AGAIN to get as many degrees as I could to make as much money as I could as a teacher and I don't want that all to go to waste. But I also don't want to live my life waiting for 3pm, the weekend, the holidays, the summers, wishing I could put MORE into what I truly am passionate about. So I'm in a weird spot, and I will just leave it at that for now.
As much as I don't like the unknown, I am not afraid of change- and I actually really love it. I moved my nutrition coaching business to my own platform... right here actually... Lifting in Lilly Nutrition + Lifestyle Consulting! As a girl who puts 100% of herself into whatever she is passionate about, this was absolutely the right move for me going forward. I feel like I can give my clients so much more this way and there are big things ahead, which makes me proud of my little brand I have worked hard to build a strong foundation for.
Through all of this, I have been finding joy anywhere I can and have been soaking up every second of peace and happiness in all things big and small. I am forever an optimist, which is why I know that what is meant to be will be. Here are some ways I have been finding my joy...
And I do believe good things come to those who truly believe they will. Remember this post? Well, it turns out that something big IS happening for me this week, and I cannot wait to share more about it after-the-fact! I'll see you soon, thanks for reading!